The Ultimate Guide to Climbing Dates
Valentines Day Special
When writing a guide to climbing dates, one must wonder: can climbing dates be actual dates? When someone asks you on a climbing date, you might wonder if that is even a real date or if they are not putting in enough effort and simply choose to spend a day with you while conveniently practicing their favorite sport.
As a climber myself, I particularly enjoy climbing dates. However, not all climbing dates are good, even if I get to have fun climbing. As someone who has taken beginners on climbing dates (I promised they asked, and I tried to convince them otherwise), I know climbing dates can be a very different experience for a non-climber.
To write this guide we must consider different points of view and different types of climbing dates.
Outdoors vs Indoors:
Outdoor climbing dates provide much better scenery and bonding opportunities. From spending hours together on a multi-pitch to belaying each other at the crag, sharing chips, candy, and a cold sandwich, the outdoors has a way of bringing people together. There are also more opportunities to do something nice for your partner, such as carrying gear, giving them fun pitches to lead, or setting up a top rope if they want to try something they don’t want to lead.
Particularly, if I am climbing outside, I am happy. So I have to really dislike my date to see it as a bad one. There are a few things you can do to make your outdoor climbing date even better, most of them are also related to simply being a good climbing partner. Give each other space to practice skills and take leadership at the crag or on a multi-pitch and avoid explaining things without first asking if the other person knows how to do it.
Outdoor climbing is not for everyone and, ideally, not for a first date. Have I been climbing outside and even gone on a multi-pitch with someone for a first date? Yes. Should I have done that? According to my friends, NO. However, if and when you go climbing outside with someone, make sure you know their skills. Also, be confident in your ability to check what they are doing and get you both out of a bad situation if needed. Lead climbing indoors and doing single pitches together a few times beforehand is not a bad idea.
You can also always go bouldering if you have enough crash pads and trust the person enough to be alone with them in the woods. The climbing community relies a lot on trust, but it does not have to rely on blind trust. Bouldering outdoors is also much harder than your usual gym bouldering and requires falling on crash pads that cover a small area of the ground. You might also get stuck watching your date climbing their project over and over again in a place with nothing that you can also climb nearby. PSA: Don’t go on a second date after that.
Climbing Gym Dates:
Skill imbalance:
With that said, we can now move to the context of climbing gyms. The idea of going to a climbing gym as a first date can sound great, and recently, I have learned that if done right, it can be great.
Where most people go wrong is that usually, in this situation, one person is a better climber than the other, and usually, that can create an uncomfortable dynamic. Whether it is someone’s first time, one of you is a V12 crusher, and the other climbs V5s all day, or one of you climbs just one or two grades higher than the other, there will most likely be a skill imbalance.
I’ve climbed with annoying climbers who want to spend the entire day showing how strong they are and people at a similar level who will spray tall beta at you. I have seen new climbers following around an experienced one, watching them and not getting the chance to work on their projects or get a proper introduction to climbing from their date. News flash: that is not how you should act on a date. If you choose to take someone to their first climbing experience, you should give them a proper introduction to the sport, and most of all, you should treat their struggles as a beginner with respect.
A while ago, I went on a climbing date with a V10 flashing former comp climber. We climbed at a gym for a few hours. It was, surprisingly, a nice date, and I was not annoyed at all. First, you have to consider that I am already a climber and enjoy climbing, which helps a lot. Second, I do think strong climbers are very attractive, which might not be the case with your date.
My biggest takeaways on what was done right are that 1: he didn’t flash my projects, he didn’t even try them unless I asked after MANY attempts for him to try one specific move, 2: he let me choose when to leave a certain area, so I could work on that V5 for as much as I wanted. He would hop on one or two hard climbs in each area we would go to, and the rest of the time, he would just cheer me on, mention something good that I did when I was trying to find a new beta or give me advice when asked for after considering our different heights and styles. On my end, even though I could, I would try not to stay too long in a certain area if he had nothing more to climb there and pick hard climbs that seemed fun for him to try. If they seemed too easy, I would try to get him to eliminate holds, so it was always fun.
Another good advice if both of you are somewhat strong climbers is to share the climbing board. Log in on both phones or share one and have fun. I had not board climbed much until recently and learned that I do enjoy it. As someone who is already a climber, I appreciate constructive advice, when asked for, a different climbing style that my date might be better at.
Scenery! Gyms are not the most romantic:
We have talked about how the outdoors gives you the perfect stage for romance and getting to know someone (if they are into being outside in the first place, please don’t force anyone to camp). However, climbing gyms are way more accessible, mostly when meeting someone for the first time.
Many would say, that a gym date is not a date. If you want your first date to be romantic and fancy, the climbing gym is not the place. But if after talking for a while you find out your date would love to do something more active and relaxed, then why not? We have guest passes for a reason.
Getting food after climbing, and maybe even letting them know that beforehand, so your date can take a change of clothes, is not a bad idea. You can even shower at the gym.
Safety and rope climbing in gyms:
For my rope climbers out there, make sure your date is top rope or lead certified. You don’t want to teach someone how to belay on your date (you are not even allowed to in most gyms), and you definitely don’t want them belaying you after learning. Keep it to bouldering, or if the gym allows, give them a belay so they can experience this part of the sport that you love. You can maybe teach them and leave the belaying for a second date? Just in case you need a good excuse to see them again.
For those who know how to belay, a good belaytionship can turn romantic if the vibes are good and the date is going well. We have all heard a story or two about someone who fell for a climbing buddy. So, at the end of the day, there must be something about climbing dates that works, even if only for some of us.
Stay safe, have fun, and Happy Valentine's Day!